How To Host The Perfect Dinner Party

One of Helen's proudest moments was when the guests arriving at a dinner party I was hosting in my early 20s thought they had the wrong day, because the kitchen was immaculate.That, dear reader, is the whole secret. Everything else below is just detail.

Prep early. 

We are strong believers in doing as much as humanly possible before anyone rings the doorbell. Make things ahead, and have a full clean up before guests arrive - not after. Helen is so committed to this that she often sets the table the night before.

While we're at the table: we both always use ironed white napkins. This is personal preference (take note, Claudia — not an ironer), but there is something about a crisp white napkin that says "I have my life together", even if the evidence elsewhere is thin.

Choose your menu in advance

Pick your menu early and do your cooking prior. Andrea's guru is Nagi from RecipeTin Eats - her recipes are fantastic for entertaining because she almost always includes tips on what can be prepared in advance and how to store and reheat it.

Whilst most advice says never try a new recipe on guests, I personally like a challenge and enjoy cooking new things. Maybe just don't make the entire menu an experiment — one new dish from a trusted source is a calculated risk, not recklessness.

While you're planning, always best to check dietary requirements for people you don’t know well. Much better than discovering someone’s vegetarian when they're staring down a lamb shank.

And think about the whole meal as one. If your main is rich and meaty, don't follow it with a heavy dessert. You may love the idea of finishing with a cheese board, but honestly, by that point everyone is usually pretty full.

Write yourself a timeline

Even a scrappy one on the bench. Note down when the main goes in the oven and a rough time guide, so you don't get distracted mid-conversation and forget to turn something on. This is also the moment to check you don't have oven temperature clashes and that you actually know how everything is going to work.

Get your serving dishes out beforehand and know exactly what you're serving everything in, with the serving spoons and tongs ready to go. On that note: own a lot of small kitchen tongs. You can get packs of them at Kmart. I never used to have enough, bought a big batch of tongs and serving spoons a while ago, and life has been noticeably better since.

The arrival: drinks and a little nibble

Have your drinks completely ready before people come. I do love a silver tray set up as a G&T station — ice in the ice bucket, everything ready to go. Wine and champagne glasses out. Don't forget your non-drinkers: chilled sparkling water for the table also makes things easier than messing around with the soda stream.

It's nice to have a small nibble for when people arrive with their drinks. It doesn't have to be big - I recently made Ottolenghi's spicy nuts, which Amy introduced me to. Delicious, although some people (Helen) thought they were too spicy.

Set the scene

Before anyone arrives: candles lit, playlist sorted and playing (nobody wants the host fiddling with their phone all night), and lighting checked. You're aiming for the sweet spot between (a) lit up like a shop window display with no ambience and (b) so dark you can't see what you're eating.

Also empty the bins and the dishwasher before your guests arrive. 

Starters, and the art of pacing

We are starter-and-main people. If it's a casual evening, sometimes we do the first course as a standing eat-and-nibble - often with Helen's whitebait fritters if there's whitebait in stock. These can also be cooked just before people arrive and kept warm in the oven.

Pacing matters more than people think. Have your starter, then have a little chat. Then pop up, quietly clear the table, and do the finishing touches for your main. Guests like a bit of breathing room between courses — you don't need everything arriving at once like it's a race.

The main: make-ahead is your friend

In winter I might do something stewy — lamb shanks, beef cheeks or similar, which only improve from being made ahead. Do your mash in advance and reheat (Paris mash is the one), then a green vegetable — beans that have already been blanched and are quickly stir-fried with garlic (already peeled and crushed, obviously) work beautifully (here's the recipe). A salad is another great make-ahead — just don't dress it until right before you serve.

It's also good to have a husband or partner who is a handy cook. Whatever their skill level, brief them so they know their role. Maybe they're on clearing and stacking, maybe they're on the veg. 

On guests who "help"

Guests who want to help clean up can, frankly, be annoying. We like to quietly clear and either stack the dishes to deal with later or slip them into the dishwasher — you don't want to ruin the evening's flow with a full clean-up operation mounted between courses. It's also unhelpful to have extra bodies in the kitchen when you're trying to do your next bit of cooking. Helen always says “I wouldn’t clean up in your kitchen, so you don’t need to do it in mine”.

Fully acceptable to help clear. Just don't get too involved. (It seems we may need to write a companion piece: How to Be the Perfect Dinner Guest. Watch this space.)

Seating

Have a think about how you want to seat people. Are you happy with a free-for-all, or would you rather not have the two people who always argue politics sitting side by side? You can do place labels, or simply direct people as you invite them to sit down. And decide your philosophy: boy/girl, or just let the boys talk fishing down one end while the girls sort out the world down the other.

Dessert

Our classic go-tos are Helen's chocolate mousse (so easy to make ahead) and the RecipeTin Eats lemon tart. Basically anything that is make-ahead-and-serve. Dessert is not the moment to be plating up something complicated while your guests sit abandoned at the table.

Offer coffee and tea at the end, and have it set up ready to go. It's a lovely gentle wind-down to the evening.

If something goes wrong

If things don't go quite right, or the new recipe you bravely tried doesn't work out — Helen is a firm believer in never apologising. Most people won't notice, so don't point it out. Serve it with confidence and move on.

The clean-up (or lack of it)

Don't let your guests clean up. I usually throws the dishwasher on and deals with the rest in the morning — and it's honestly never too bad, because of the big clean-up done before people arrived. Start the evening with an empty dishwasher, and if you get a load on before dessert, you are truly winning.